Dukes Secret Hideout
by Shathausser
Summary: Hello I'm Duke and I decided to make a Q&A show whenever I have freetime. So send in your questions and dares and I MIGHT answer them.  Now Funnier! and Edited
1. Chapter 1

**Hello I'm just a made up chipmunk that knows English, here for your entertainment with my own question and answer show, where YOU ask the questions and WE answer them ask kinds of questions whether their stupid questions, annoying questions, naughty questions, or just random questions I'll try my best to answer them but NO SONG REQEST. Send in your OC's and he/she MIGHT be in a future episode and if your lucky your OC might even be a reoccurring character.**


	2. Introduction of the best show ever!

**This is the next installment of the BEST SHOW EVER, it took me longer than I thought it would to come up with Duke's mothers name but I finally got it.**

Duke: Yeah but you get use to it after a while, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore

Steven: You fell out of the tree!

Duke: Yeah… hey are we recording?

Steven: Oh we are

Duke: Ok um…this is a little embarrassing

Steven: You walk around wearing pink, and everyone thinks you a girl and this embarrasses you.

Duke: What makes you think _everyone _thinks I'm a girl

Steven: Don't you remember yesterday?

_Flashback  
>Duke: Hey mom if I threw a rock at someone right now would it go threw thier head and kill them?<em>

_Veronica: What no...you're starting to sound like a guy_

_Duke: ...I am a guy_

_Veronica:…..Wha...Don't be a silly goose I knew that (Chuckles nervously)_

Steven: That story gets better every time I hear it

Duke: I don't even care, let's just get to those silly willy bo-billy questions

Steven: Fine we have one from someone named Jill Seville

Duke: Hey that rhymes, Jill and Seville

Steven: Yeah, yeah ok the question is…. Hey for once their is a question for me

Duke: What! You're...fat and...weird!

(Audience laughs)

Duke: Thank you I'll be here all week!

Steven: Hey I may be fat but you're ugly! I can diet!

Duke: Yeah well I can get plastic surgery so ha!

Steven: I...I can't even make an insult about that

Duke: You know God makes tree's, mountains, and music, but he made you...we all make mistakes...what's the quetion?

**Jill Seville ask  
><strong>**Hey Duke Steven Nice to see you guys having your own show anyway onto the Questions**

**Duke do you ahve any brothers or sisters?**

**and Steven you have any parents at all ?**

Duke: You know what? That reminds me I sent an invitation to my long lost sister but I'm not sure what happened

Steven: She either didn't get it or she did but she just doesn't like you

Duke: Ok next question what is it?

Steven: She asked if I have parents...like, what do you think?

Duke: Well I thought you just came out of a hobo's toliet or something...and don't be rude to our viewers ya big dummy!

Steven: I still wonder how you get straight A's in school

Duke: Because I'm a genius and you're a brainless clown

Steven: ...Anyway here is a question from Charlie Seville

**Charlie Seville ask  
><strong>**Hey Duke Steven so anyway**

**You guys fans of the bands Alvin and the chipmunks or Brittany and the chipettes ? cause i recently met them on there tour around the world its mostly for there new album Adam and the chipmunks Motion picture Soundtrack. Anyway lets get to the Questions**

**Steven are you into video games like Diablo for the pc or Need for speed underground ?also for the pc there Awesome games ok get this in underground 2 you can add the legendary car from the 80's movie back to the future the DMC 12 Delorean it can be added in Most wanted and Carbon and NFS III as to how i know all this trust me i just do**

**Duke What do ya do in your spare time?**

Duke: Alvin and the chipmunks?

Steven: Even I know who they are

Duke: And they are?

Steven: They're a somewhat famous band, but they never seem to write their own songs

Duke: Then how are they famous?

Steven: Well I don't know, maybe because they're singing chipmunks

Duke: So are we!

Steven: Oh sweet Jesus don't sing

Duke: (In a cracked voice)_Do you belive in life after love? Do you_-

Steven: OH MY GOD SHUT THE HELL UP!

Duke: Don't you want more viewers?

Steven: Do you want less?

Duke: ...Ok to answer your next question I usually watch TV or study

Steven: Geek

Steven: Can we just read the next question?

Duke: Fine, it's from… Sheryl Se…. Alright what is with all the Seville's here!

Steven: Maybe that family just likes this show, I don't know just a suggestion.

Duke: Shut up

Steven: (Sigh) Why do I even try?

Duke: Well anyway this is from Sheryl Seville

**Sheryl Seville ask**

**So Duke Did you ever think that you might wanna change from pink to either bright red or dark blue those might look good on you and as for the long blond hair i say get it cut and change your look thought i would throw that out there**

**So Duke Steven what rock n roll bands you two into ?**

Duke: It's not like I wanna wear pink it's just my mom's think that if I wear something normal I'll become 'Sexually active' and my hair is only to my eyes so it's not that long

Duke: And we're not really into rock n roll

Steven: I am

Boom operater: So am I

Duke: Awww, but no one care's do they?

Steven: (Throws equipment at Duke's head)

Duke: Oww!...You know you're paying for!

Steven: Aw to bad you don't pay me!

Duke: Oh look at that we're out of time till next time we will probably have some guest if we can.

Duke: Bye everyone! We love-(Gets door slamed in his face)

?: Oh Dukey where are you?

Steven: Oh crap not you again

**Oh goodness me who could that be? Ask Questions and find out!**


	3. Too many Sevilles!

**This is the next installment of the BEST SHOW EVER, it took me longer than I thought it would to come up with Duke's mothers name but I finally got it.**

Duke: Yeah but you get use to it after a while, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore

Steven: You fell out of the tree!

Duke: Yeah… hey are we recording?

Steven: Oh we are

Duke: Ok um…this is a little embarrassing

Steven: You walk around wearing pink, and everyone thinks you a girl and this embarrasses you.

Duke: What makes you think _everyone _thinks I'm a girl

Steven: Don't you remember yesterday?

_Flashback  
>Duke: Hey mom if I threw a rock at someone right now would it go threw thier head and kill them?<em>

_Veronica: What no...you're starting to sound like a guy_

_Duke: ...I am a guy_

_Veronica:…..Wha...Don't be a silly goose I knew that (Chuckles nervously)_

Steven: That story gets better every time I hear it

Duke: I don't even care, let's just get to those silly willy bo-billy questions

Steven: Fine we have one from someone named Jill Seville

Duke: Hey that rhymes, Jill and Seville

Steven: Yeah, yeah ok the question is…. Hey for once their is a question for me

Duke: What! You're...fat and...weird!

(Audience laughs)

Duke: Thank you I'll be here all week!

Steven: Hey I may be fat but you're ugly! I can diet!

Duke: Yeah well I can get plastic surgery so ha!

Steven: How about I give you surgery now so you can save some money?

Duke: You know God makes tree's, mountains, and music, but he made you...we all make mistakes...what's the quetion?

**Jill Seville ask  
><strong>**Hey Duke Steven Nice to see you guys having your own show anyway onto the Questions**

**Duke do you ahve any brothers or sisters?**

**and Steven you have any parents at all ?**

Duke: You know what? That reminds me I sent an invitation to my long lost sister but I'm not sure what happened

Steven: She either didn't get it or she did but she just doesn't like you

Duke: Ok next question what is it?

Steven: She asked if I have parents...like, what do you think?

Duke: Well I thought you just came out of a hobo's toliet or something...and don't be rude to our viewers ya big dummy!

Steven: I still wonder how you get straight A's in school

Duke: Because I'm a genius and you're a brainless clown

Steven: ...Anyway here is a question from Charlie Seville

**Charlie Seville ask  
><strong>**Hey Duke Steven so anyway**

**You guys fans of the bands Alvin and the chipmunks or Brittany and the chipettes ? cause i recently met them on there tour around the world its mostly for there new album Adam and the chipmunks Motion picture Soundtrack. Anyway lets get to the Questions**

**Steven are you into video games like Diablo for the pc or Need for speed underground ?also for the pc there Awesome games ok get this in underground 2 you can add the legendary car from the 80's movie back to the future the DMC 12 Delorean it can be added in Most wanted and Carbon and NFS III as to how i know all this trust me i just do**

**Duke What do ya do in your spare time?**

Duke: Alvin and the chipmunks?

Steven: Even I know who they are

Duke: And they are?

Steven: They're a somewhat famous band, but they never seem to write their own songs

Duke: Then how are they famous?

Steven: Well I don't know, maybe because they're singing chipmunks

Duke: So are we!

Steven: Oh sweet Jesus don't sing

Duke: (In a cracked voice)_Do you belive in life after love? Do you_-

Steven: OH MY GOD SHUT THE HELL UP!

Duke: Don't you want more viewers?

Steven: Do you want less?

Duke: ...Ok to answer your next question I usually watch TV or study

Steven: Geek

Steven: Can we just read the next question?

Duke: Fine, it's from… Sheryl Se…. Alright what is with all the Seville's here!

Steven: Maybe that family just likes this show, I don't know just a suggestion.

Duke: Shut up

Steven: (Sigh) Why do I even try?

Duke: Well anyway this is from Sheryl Seville

**Sheryl Seville ask**

**So Duke Did you ever think that you might wanna change from pink to either bright red or dark blue those might look good on you and as for the long blond hair i say get it cut and change your look thought i would throw that out there**

**So Duke Steven what rock n roll bands you two into ?**

Duke: It's not like I wanna wear pink it's just my mom's think that if I wear something normal I'll become 'Sexually active' and my hair is only to my eyes so it's not that long

Duke: And we're not really into rock n roll

Steven: I am

Boom operater: So am I

Duke: Awww, but no one care's do they?

Steven: (Throws equipment at Duke's head)

Duke: Oww!...You know you're paying for!

Steven: Aw to bad you don't pay me!

Duke: Oh look at that we're out of time till next time we will probably have some guest if we can.

Duke: Bye everyone! We love-(Gets door slamed in his face)

?: Oh Dukey where are you?

Steven: Oh crap not you again

**Oh goodness me who could that be? Ask Questions and find out!**


	4. The Creator is a Hater

**Duke (Last name in progress, in fact why don't YOU give me suggestions) is back babies!**

?: Oh Dukey!

Duke: Ow! Holy crap that hurt

Steven: Why do you always have to bother us…how did you even get here this, studio is seriously in the middle of nowhere

?: Well a girls mind can be like radar

Duke: Okay who's the bitch?...Oh…What are you doing here?

?: Well I'm your sister I wanted to spend time with you

Duke: Awww, Go home!

?: Um let me think about that…..NO!

Duke: Now Jessie!

Boom Operator: Hey are you filming this?

Steven: Of course this'll definitely get us at least slightly noticed

Jessie: I'm staying and that's final

Duke: ….Fine you know what? I don't even give a crap let's just start the show

Duke: Hello ladies and gentlemen welcome to another which will hopefully be another exciting episode of Duk-

Jessie: Dukes Secret Hideout!

Duke: …Yes…very…very good

Duke: Steven Check the questions for us

Steven: (Looks on computer) We have a few

Duke: Oh wait! I forgot there's something I always wanted to do this (Picks up iphone)

Steven: What are you doing?

Duke: Wait…..Hello is this the Seville residence?

Speakers: Yes who is this?

Duke: Um I'm a friend of…..

Jessie: Alvin?

Duke: Alvin

Speakers: …Ok wait one second

Alvin: …..Hello

Duke: Do you know how your girlfriend is like a shot-gun?

Alvin: …..How

Duke: One cock and she blows

Alvin: ALRIGHT ASSHOLE WHERE ARE YOU!

Duke: You'll never find out…..Check (Address withheld) street

Alvin: ALRIGHT I'M COMING FOR YOU!

Duke: Ok bye…..Alrighty he should be here any minute so let's answer at least three questions before he gets here

Jessie: Um Dukey I'm sorry but…he's going to slap you stupid

Duke: Question now

Steven: Ok here's one from…..Shathausser?

Duke: What a stupid name

Steven: Duke I'd be carful he's the creator of this show….and us

Duke: He's our dad?

Steven: No not exactly

**Shathausser (The great and all knowing) ask  
>Duke why are you so firetruckin' stupid?<strong>

Jessie: Aw, even the creator thinks your stupid

Duke: Yea well your mom is so stupid she sat on the TV to watch the couch (Then brick falls out of the sky and hits him in the head)

Duke: Ow!...Steven!

Steven: Wasn't me

Duke: …Jessie!

Jessie: Not me

Duke: …..Hal-

(Door slams open)

Alvin: Alright where are you!

Duke: How is everyone getting past security so easily?

**Hey you two CHarlene here anyway so what Band you like the most and here are the choices .**

**Adam and the chipmunks or Brian and the chipmunks**

**check us out in the story Adam and the chipmunks : Going around the world its an awesome story**

**As for Brian Jason and Ethan we just plane hate them for two or three reasons**

**1. they act like they own the school**

**2. they treated us like total dirt**

**3. as far as a manager goes Ian is the worst**

**4. they are trying to get there first Album our ? total fail**

**and 5. there also our rival and we will never i use the word loosly alot cause its just not possible i mean one fight between Brian Adam and Brittany would result in a total war of chipmunks and Bands take my word on that one**

**Well those are the reasons we hate Brian and the chipmunks its just that we can't trust them not only that in Anchourage Alaska they covered Earth Angle Johnny b Goode the Power of Love and Back in time and the Audience just clapped for them ? and i thought that they sucked even i don't like them one bit so check out the other stories as well see ya**

Duke: Ok come on now?...uh I've never heard of either band…and don't worry I'm sure they hate you to end the show bye!

Alvin: Get over here you bitch!

**Not a lot of questions were answered that could have been so…..sorry  
>So tune in next time and whatnot.<strong>


	5. Halo 3 Head ache

**New episode You Question I Answer**

Duke: Well as you all may or may not know yesterday to my misfortune I got beat up….by Alvin Seville

(Crowd laughs)

Duke: Yeah apparently you all think that's funny….I don't feel very good because…..well I got beat up

(Crowd laughs)

Duke: Well at least Steven knows to keep his mouth shut

Steven: Hey I have my limits

Duke: Yeah uh….let's read those questions…

Crowd member: Be funny!

Duke:(Dryly) Security remove him

Guard: Right

Duke: Ok first question is from Eddie Seville

**Eddie Seville asks**

******So then you guys who is your favorite chipmunk and or chipette ?**

Duke: Well I can tell you my least favorites…I absolutely HATE that fat one in the green sweater and now I hate Alvin

Duke: Ok this next on is by Little T…..that sounds wrong

**Little T ask**

**Hey Duke I bet I could kick your girly butt at Halo 3 or any game for that matter**

Duke:…Good to know

Duke: Ok my head is hurting like a bitch right now so I'm gonna end the show kind of early

Duke: Oh and someone wanted to know, I honestly dislike pink my favorite colors are brown and red because that the colors of chocolate covered cherries

**Did you like it?**

**Well too bad REVIEW!**


	6. REJECTED!

Duke: Good morning everyone or whoever watches this I'm Duke and this is...time to read your f*cking annoying questions

Duke: You know I got the lead roll in a school play, but of course I find out that the lead gets viciously murdered by some A**hole girl…Ass….A**hole…okay so anyway since my mother just had to film it here's a clip for your mild amusement

_Girl: I'll kill you myself_

_Duke: Whatever you're just a girl you can't hurt me_

_Girl: So you're saying that just because I'm a girl….I can't fight?_

_Duke: Well that's what I just said_

Duke: Yeah you know the rest let's just get on with the show

Duke: Okay first question is by….this guy

**Adam Seville ask…or says**

**Hey Duke Steven**

Duke: Hey

Well well you Got your got your Butt kicked by Alvin what a shocker .

Duke: Shut-up

Anyway onto the Questions

Duke are you ready to see AATC : Chipwrecked

Duke: I saw that movie and let's just say watching a One-Hundred mile snail race would be more interesting

Steven you ready to read Adam and the chipmunks : Chipwrecked? its coming out one day after the movie be sure to check te trailers

Duke: Speaking of Steven, Steven

Steven: What?

Duke: (Laughs) You're going to think this is pretty god damn funny

Steven: What you're finally going to pay me?

Duke: No funnier, YOU'RE FIRED!

Steven: Wh-What how's that in anyway funny?

Duke: Well it is to me so ugh….F*ck off!

Steven: Fuck you!

Duke: Wait a minute why didn't it censor him?

Some Guy: Cause' he's not part of the show anymore

Duke: Well that makes sense I guess

Duke: Okay the second question is

**chipmunkfanantic ask**

**so ya hate theo and Alvin huh? go figure still though what would you say about simon Eleanor Jeanette and Brittany Hmm?**

Duke: Well I said that

Ok onto the Questions . If Brittany broke up with Alvin and asked you out what would your reaction be ?

Duke: My reaction would probably be…..F*CK NO!

And Steven. if you could go out with nay of the chipettes which one would it be ?

Duke: I'm not attracted to any of them

Duke: But that is a good question, it's also non of your god damn business

Duke: Well I'm going to hire a new camera man….or women…bye…..A**hole, dammit!


	7. Turn for the worst

**I know I should be writing Chipmunk City (Which I am) but I decided that I haven't updated Dukes Secret Hideout (For some of you that's a good thing) so I decided to finally update this story**

* * *

><p>Duke: Hello everyone as you might have seen last time, or at least I believe so. Anyway back on topic, as you may know I have fired my cameraman, well all I have to say is that was both a welcome improvement and also a huge downfall, it's a good thing because well… I always hated Steven but it's a bad thing because…well I don't have a cameraman anymore.<br>So what I'm doing right now is finding a new cameraman or my personal recommendation a 'camera-women', and I thought you guys might want to watch because one: I've only been getting idiots or mama's-boys, and two: I'm bored to tears, so let's start shall we?

Duke: Okay Mr, ugh

Person: Smith

Duke: Don't correct me, okay why do you want this job?

Smith: Well all my friends have jobs and-

Duke: Get out of here, next

Smith: *Asshole*

Duke: I heard that!

Duke: Okay Ms.,

Person: My name is Sammi

Duke: Okay Sammi, first question , why do you want this job?

Sammi: Well I've always have been interested in being a cameraman, I've been taking classes ever since-

Duke: Yeah yeah, next question, are you willing to give me a lap-dance to get this job?

Sammi: Ugh, I don't understand

Duke: Oh, well let me rephrase that for you, if I offered you this job but the only way to get it is to give me a lap-dance would you take it?

Sammi: No!

Duke: Alright then I'll give you a call, next

Person: Hey my name is-

Duke: Next, (Turns to camera) I've always wanted to do that

Person: Hello?

Duke: Wha'? Oh yeah, what's your name?

Person: It's Alvin

Duke: Alvin? Your name is Alvin? That's an awful name

Alvin: Yeah? Let's hear your name then

Duke: It's get the hell out of my studio

Alvin: Screw you

Duke: Okay who's next?

Person: I am Mr. Duke

Duke: Wait what was your full name again?

Person: Tracy Wilson

Duke: Okay, in your application it says that you were a former prostitute correct?

Tracy: Yes, I'm looking to make a HUGE career change

Duke:….Next

Duke:….I said next!

Duke: …Next? Is there anyone else?

Co-Producer: Well technically yes

Duke: Well technically that was a yes or no question

Co-Producer: Not today

Duke: Then put up a sign-in sheet or something

Co-Producer: Fine, later

Duke: I'm not paying you to do your work later, I'm paying you to do it now

Co-Producer: You're not paying me at all!

Duke: Just post a sign-in sheet on the internet already!

Co-Producer: Fine

_To be continued.._

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it was so short again, but what do you expect?<strong>

**So please submit an OC to work as a cameraman for the rest of their natural life**

**Duke: And I might actually pay you as a free bonus, get it? See what I did there?**

**Shathausser: Just shut-up, you already had you're moment, let me have mine!**

**Duke: Sorry?**

**Shathausser: You are sorry**

**Thank You for reading (If you didn't just skip to the bottom)**


End file.
